PUPPIES & BABIES!

One crisp Fall day me and Blake were taking one our many, many autumn walks when we happened upon a puppy with a broken leg. Now me being me I was prepared to leave the puppy in the dumpster and just keep walking, but no not Blake. Not Blake. Blake unbuttoned his yellow wool cardigan and gently raised the infant canine to his chest and allowed the baby animal to gorge itself on the milk from his superfluous right nipple. Oh and that animal drank, it drank of the creamy Blake milk until it could stretch its newly mended leg into the day sun.

Blake set the beast down and we both watched as the animal trotted and romped as if it had no memory of the injury at all. The adorable puppy played and danced, danced and played right into on coming traffic. No matter, Blake gently scooped up the bloody, quivering, adorable mess and started squeezing miracle milk from his superfluous left nipple into the mongrels broken mouth. Through my own tear streaked eyes I saw the puppy transmorph into a full grown dog and rip the throat from the driver that hit it. Blake would have saved the wretched driver as well but alas he needed the remainder of his precious milk to clean the blood off of his beautiful yellow wool cardigan sweater.

At this time me and Blake noticed that actor/Trappers owner Bill Murray had been watching him, jaw agape, for the entire duration of the incident. Blake just slapped his hands down on the Ghostbuster/failed minor league baseball team owner's shoulders, looked deep into his eyes and told him "No one will ever believe this".

Happy birthday friend!